Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Beast in the Basement

I don't think I've ever blogged about the beast that lives in my basement. If you like spooky stories - here's a good one.

This murderous beast has a history of stalking neighborhoods and frightening all that had the misfortune of crossing his path.

He was known to be the ringleader in neighborhood gangs and once killed a cat and left its corpse to wither and rot in Todd's mom's backyard.

He has horrific social manners proven by his incessant hacking and sputtering. It is truly disgusting to behold.

He became homeless a year ago and because of his old age (and the fact that I JUST CAN'T SAY NO) he came to live with us.

Since he has a homicidal past - we felt it was best to keep him locked up in our basement. We let him out into our backyard often and the last time he was out there I snapped off a few shots - mainly to show proof of his hideous and tortured existence. I'm sure he lives with the guilt daily.

Take a look into the eyes of fierceness...

This 25 pound behemoth is not as innocent and sweet as he looks.

Small children and clowns flee when they catch a glimpse of his monstrous size.
(please don't notice the gigantic cracks in my patio)

Here he is in all of his lazy lounging glory.

We sleep well at night knowing that he is too old to hurt any other poor innocent critters. We are continually hopeful that his murderous past is behind him.

**Besides husbands, do you have or do you know someone or something that should be kept locked up in a basement for the welfare and safety of others.


Jan said...

There are lots of things I could lock in the basement. Lets see what I would have that is living. Nothing that is living. So an object would have to be my son that has moved out already, but hasn't taken all his things. That would be my something in the basement.

So funny about the cat.

Love that you shared the story of your great etc. grandfather that wrote High on a Mountain Top. I love that Hymn so very much. I think that is so great to have someone like that, as an example in your family. Thanks again.

Mechelle said...

Our basement is a mother-in-law apartment! Complete with game room, laundry, big kitchen, full bath, walk in closet (bigger than the master bedrooms!) and bedroom. All my kids want to move in down there. I say they are too young still. But there are days I would like to lock each of them up in the basement! Cute story. You are kind hearted to take this monster in. M

Tasha said...

Totally great though....my Mother in Law! Except that might be too close to me to handle!

I love your huge cat!

Mandi said...

This was a great post - you really should write professionally, I couldnt wait to get the the end to find out what you were talking about. I have an evil cat too - adopted at the age of 2 and completely weird, he is possessed and chases ghosts in our house - must video it and put it on my blog. How does your other cat like the evil one????

Anonymous said...

ha haha!!! That is really really funny!!!!

and i think my in-laws including one sister-in-law need to be locked up!!! forever!

Anonymous said...

hey...i know....we could lock them up in the basement with that CAT!

MCF said...

He looks like a black and white (and evil) version of Creature! He's kind of cute in a raggety way..

The only thing I keep locked up in the basement (and it's really more for his own sake) is my dee-duh-dee dog Dakota. And only during the day when we're at work. Heaven knows what trouble he would get himself into if he were left loose. Good gads.

Miss you JLW.

Tammy said...

Sorry, nothing for the basement, but we do have an incredibly strange monster up in the attic. My nephew who is now in the air force was trying to get soem Halloween candy away from ym kdis and told them that the "Candyman" lives in the attic. All little children are required to leave a bit of candy on the dresser at night or the "Candyman" will drag his innocent victims back up into the attic with him. Gee...thanks cousin Luke!!!!

My kids ahve finally realized just what cousin Luke was up to!!!!

Scrappy Girl said...

Hmmmm...for everyone's safety?! Definitely my inlaws. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Do you hire the cat out? You may have a money making gold mine here!
Funny story.

kitchenditcher said...

Oh...do I know someone who should be locked up for other's safety! It's my sister-in-law Pam! Did you know that she was actually BANNED from going to girls camp because she caused so much trouble? Right now she's in India. My heart goes out to those people...... lol :o}

Frumpy Luv said...

I really love this post - hilarious!! I love that children and clowns flee in fear =).

I think there is a special time of the month, and time when I am a combo of hungry and tired where I am the monster that should be kept locked in the basement.

oh goodness.

Anonymous said...

♥Have A Happy 4th Of July♥