I tried going back to work yesterday. I made a good first attempt. At about 4:00 I realized that I was staring off into space. I noticed that my legs and arms felt like dead weights. My dad (who I work with - more on this in another entry) asked me a question and I realized that I couldn't find the energy to open my mouth, let alone summon some active brain cells that could come up with words to say.
Here are my before surgery and after surgery photos:
This is how I used to be.
And this is me now.
When my daughters looked at this picture they said, "ohhh - cute"!
They NEVER look at me lounging lazily and say "ohhh - cute! I'm so glad she's not making us dinner. I'm so glad the house is a mess. I'm so glad she asked me to run up the stairs and get her book."
Speaking of which - HOLY COW - I never knew a house could have so many stairs. I never really noticed them all before. These days I usually head up the stairs for bed around 7:00 pm and by 10:00 I finally make it to the top and crash!
Anyway - I knew I would be tired after the surgery. After all, we have thyroids for a reason. I had mine for 38 years before it decided to go AWOL. I was warned that I would be tired and run-down. I was told that it would take time for my body to readjust. But wow - this is a different kind of tired. It's not an "I need sleep now, I think I'll go to bed" kind of tired. It's more of an irritating, sluggish, run-down, "I can't find the energy to blink" kind of tired.
But - this too shall pass. One day I will have energy again. I don't know what each day holds for me. Some days are fine and I accomplish what I need to. Other days - not so much!
Eventually this thyroid cancer journey will be a distant memory. I will have learned from it whatever it is I need to learn. Until then - heave ho! It's time for bed.
2 comments:
Nothing worse than stairs. Actually I don't mind going down stairs, it's the up that I struggle with.
I recently looked into having an escalator installed. It's REALLY expensive. So now I trying to create a pulley system. I should have the prototype ready next week to try out on stray cats or possibly that neighbor kid who bugs me. I'll let you know how it goes.
You must be that hateful, crabby neighbor that spews really mean words at innocent, stray children who just happen to be unlucky enough to walk on your sidewalk. Have you no shame?! Doom on you!
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