Dream Sequence - by Gene Burton

Hi, Jodi......This entry to your blog comes at 4:19 A.M., April 15, 2008. It has nothing to do with taxes. I have awoken and re-awakened from a dreadful dream. In this dream I encountered a horrid weapon. Or maybe it was more like a tool. An evil tool. It might have been made of solid gold. Or silver. Wood? Cheap plastic? Anyway, it had magic powers. Or maybe a magnetic attraction to leather. It had a handle at one end and a curved hook at the other. (Well, I guess all hooks are curved. Duh.)

Neither I nor anyone else ever saw the person or apparition wielding this ominous stick, and indeed few have witnessed the stick. ( I think it moves real fast.) But it loves leather. More precisely, it loves shoes. All kinds of leather shoes.

As I awakened I entered that mystical land between slumber and cognizance. It seemed that I had heard or read of this phenomenon. A man in Berlin was hurrying through a busy, crowded bus station during a heavy rain. He was wearing a brand new $300.00 pair of shoes. Suddenly his left shoe disappeared. As he turned to search for it the right one disappeared WITH HIS FULL WEIGHT ON THE SHOE!

During a midnight run, the folks on a packed train in Bucharest lost 137 pairs in their sleep. A woman in Egypt lost a pair of sandals while bending over to fill an urn. She said it felt (or sounded) like a soft, gentle whisper.

A young feller in California always wore socks with his flip-flops. Everyone laughed at him. Anyhoo, he was basking in the sun on a deserted beach when he felt a violent wrenching at his feet. The flops were gone, leaving two deep cotton/blend indentations between the first and second toes.

I found myself drifting back to sleep. As I approached level five the identity of this frightening maniacal weapon of mass detatchment began to come to me. My whole body shuddered and convulsed as I sat up. I had it! It is a Debirkenstocken!

Respectfully submitted by Gene Burton Stalkin'

~

** The owner of this blog does not condone, authorize, endorse, or even like this joke. May it be known that these are the types of jokes that I was made to endure while growing up. Feel my pain. Hee hee! Love ya dad!

Shark attack!

Connor is definitely my son.

Ya see, this here is the shark head on Connor's bedroom wall that viciously attacked him while he was taking off his shirt. One might assume that a dead shark is harmless - but after an urgent care visit, tetanus shot and 11 stitches, we learned otherwise.

For gross!

Connor's grandpa, aka "gramps", shares his version of the event.

Connor thought he should have made his biceps bigger.

In other thrilling news... Todd and I have been searching high and low for the coyote, or fox, or whatever it was (possibly a llama?). Donning camouflage clothing and lurking in the woods with night vision goggles has gotten us nowhere and we find ourselves feeling increasingly hopeless that we will ever find the mystery animal.

We've resorted to recruiting the help of other furry critters in our pursuit. Our instructions to them are simple - find the coyote (or fox) and get a picture if you can.

This deer has been very diligent and zealous in his hunt and has so far left no stone unturned. We decided to name him our employee of the month.

This guy is completely nuts.... and useless.

We have difficulty keeping this hawk's attention on the search effort. He keeps flitting and fluttering to areas outside of our search zone.

We may have to let him go.

This raucous crowd is full of shenanigans but very eager to find the coyote/fox. Unfortunately , they are not very stealthlike in their approach and Todd and I try to teach them to use their quiet voices. We've not had much success.

Stitch the cat just mocks our obsession.

Pfft.

Heretofore, our search has proven fruitless - but stay tuned as the thrilling drama unfolds. We will not give up the search. We will carry on. We are the champions, my friend.

Cutest Nephews EVER!

Need I say more?

Teeth Torture

Todd and I have been on a wisdom-teeth pulling kick. Larissa was our latest victim. She made me buy her Cold Stone - there are some perks to being tortured.

Connor's up next in a few weeks.





*The author of this blog is seriously taking her life into her own hands by posting this picture.

Coyotes, Foxes, Cougars - Oh My!

There is a big mystery in our household.

On a few separate occasions, Todd and the kids have told me about a wild fox they have noticed while driving down Traverse Ridge. I hadn't thought much of it until I saw it today.

WHY? WHY? WHY do I never have my camera when I see cute animals in the wild?

It was striking. It was in a wooded area and was walking on the snow - very close to the main road. Of course I told Todd about it when he came home tonight, but it had been on my mind all day. The thing is, it didn't look exactly how I thought a fox would look. I mentioned to Todd that it almost reminded me of a coyote.

Well, that just opened up a great big can of worms! Now Todd and I cannot decide if it was a coyote or a fox. We don't even know if we saw the same animal or not. Todd is convinced that he has seen a coyote AND a fox and that our little critter in question is in fact, 2 critters.

You can bet that I'll be finding an answer to this little mystery!

As a side note, there also seems to be a cougar roaming around in the area. Read very scary news article here:
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=2901367

As yet another side note, I do realize that this post ranks high on the "Holy Cow, What a Nerd!" meter. I admit that in my younger years, I never would have found foxes and coyotes interesting. I'm not quite sure what is happening to me. Old age? Boredom? Teenagers sucking the life right out of me?

One of these days I may totally tip the nerd scale and relate my embarrassing elk story on this blog.

I'm sure you are dizzy with anticipation.

Quotes and silliness

Quotes and comments I have heard this week.

Connor: I hate any song that has a chipmunk singing in it.
Repairman: Yes, there is black mold in your walls where you had the ice dam and it's going to cost you a lot of money that you don't want to spend and be very inconvenient for you during the next few weeks.
Todd: Jodi, I'm glad you don't get offended by things I say even if I sometimes mean it.
Larissa: David Archuleta is sooo sexy!
Elora to Connor and Larissa: Oh, you have school this week? That sucks. I have the week off.
Jodi: I don't have anything to blog about. Maybe I'll just relay quotes I've heard.
Darren from the MTC: Hey, thanks for the tic tacs. Actually, my companions thank you!
Stitch the cat: Seriously, I hate all of you.
Baby Bear the cat: I hate Stitch.

Red Desert

Oh, I had a fabulous weekend.

Knowing that we would be without children for Easter, Todd and I spontaneously hopped in our car for a quick jaunt to the desert to re-charge our batteries. This weekend's road trip was comprised mostly in Zion National Park, however we did make a quick stop in Bryce on our way home. We packed a lot into 2 days and loved every minute of it!

First I should mention that we hate it when our kids are gone and unless we make fun plans, we tend to mope around the house, dwelling in our sorrows. (A bit of an exaggeration - but we hate it, nonetheless).

I have titled my blog 'redhoodoos' for reasons I've not fully disclosed but one could probably surmise. I know I'm not alone in my feelings for Southern Utah and don't profess to being the only one enamored with it's beauty - but being down there does something to my soul. Invariably I am drawn to reflection, to peace, to words - and for a small moment in time, the world seems less abrasive. Less severe.

Growing up, my family would frequently vacation at Bryce Canyon in Southern Utah. I have fond memories of piling into the wood-paneled station wagon, affectionately named 'The Staish", at 4:00 a.m. Now that I'm a parent, I realize my mom and dad left that early because they knew Brian and I would sleep and find little time to fight. Mom would bake a roast the night before and would make us delicious roast beef sandwiches to enjoy on the drive (stuffing us with food was another ploy to keep us from fighting). I'm sure my sandwiches don't taste nearly as good. My cousins and grandparents would meet us there and undoubtedly make the trip fun - always more eventful with Uncle George's tandem bike. Songs and ghost stories around the campfire and bomb-pops from the market made the trip even more unforgettable - the memories indelibly seared into my mind. But it's the scent of Bryce Canyon that reminds me that I'm home. There's a scent carried with the Bryce winds that I've never smelled anywhere else. It is truly Heaven.

I'll never forget the first time I visited Zion National Park at age 17 with my YW group. I recall being awestruck as we entered from the East and I caught my first glimpse outside of the tunnel. It couldn't be real - how could any place on earth be so beautiful?! My pictures from this trip only capture glances of it's beauty.

It was a weekend of renewal for me - appropriate for this Easter weekend. I have yearned to go back since my cancer diagnosis last November. Nothing is more healing or therapeutic than being in the red desert. Surely, there isn't a more beautiful place on this Earth. I was able to breathe the fresh air and be reminded that no problem is too insurmountable.

Tomorrow, undoubtedly, I will be embarrassed with my oozy sap-filled blog entry, so I will end by sharing some of our animal incidents that we endured on the trip.



I met this buffalo after our hike in Zion. Apparently, he had just finished the hike and was as tuckered out as I was. Poor guy. I felt his pain.

This little vagrant begged for food by putting on a sad face. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the "Will look cute 4 food" sign he was holding up. We felt sorry for him, but didn't comply, lest we break National Park rules.

We happened upon the Easter Bunny feeding small children and I noticed a glimmer of hope in Todd's eye. Alas, she didn't stop at our car and I had to buy Todd a chocolate bar instead.

This goat excitedly hopped down the mountain when he heard the Easter Bunny was at the Park.

Todd liked the goatee on this buffalo and made him pose so he could get a better idea of how to grow one for himself.