Self Disclosure

I broach this subject with trepidation as you may not know my secret.

First, some history.

It started back in 2001 while running. I loved to run back then. LOVED, I say. But it was at this unfortunate time in my life that I hurt my knee. Shortly thereafter, it was the kidney stones. Devils! I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. Wait. Hmmm. No…not even my worst enemy. But, I also started to not feel very well at this time in my life (we suspect because of my parathyroid – see previous blog). For comfort and to deaden the frustration, I would frequent the ever-delicious Farr’s Ice Cream in downtown Ogden. YUMMY! Oh the memories of their decadent, creamy, mouthwatering and oh so comforting peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. Yeah baby!! Just writing about it now sends a thrill down my parched throat. I enjoyed blissful ignorance during those days. I say ignorance because apparently ice cream has calories. Who knew?!

Let’s put this in simple mathematical terms:

Hurt knee + kidney stones = Lack of physical activity
Lack of physical activity + frustration = Gloom

So,
Frustration + gloom = Farr’s Ice Cream (obviously)

Therefore,
Lack of physical activity + gloom + Farr's Ice Cream = Stoutness

Just trust me.

I can’t quite bring myself to say the 3-letter F-word. But we all know what I’m referring to.

Hence, the secret I’ve been harboring: I’ve become plump. Pudgy. Stout. Curved. Even rotund. My extra girth has made me, shall I say, less spry than I used to be. A little more sedentary. I’ve also found that I love fast food restaurants and they really love me.

As you can clearly see, it wasn’t my fault that I put on weight. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it)! I've become very very good at the blame game. I've tried very hard to conceal my condition - black clothing, makeup shading, only creeping around in public during the dark of night. However, I can't keep up the facade. Something MUST be done to correct the situation.

Why? Because my extra girth has created other recent problems like high blood pressure and cholesterol. Sigh. Also - I can’t enjoy things that I really love like hiking my beloved red country down in Southern Utah. Actually – I can still hike – but with the speed, grace, and agility of a buck-toothed hippo.

So, I need some help. Motivation. Input.

I'm pretty sure I only have about 1.2 readers, slightly up from last month, but I really need a little more support than that (pass this post along to your friends and compadres). I'm interested in learning what you do (or have done) to lose weight. How does one stay motivated and away from ice cream? What programs out there will help me achieve my ambitious goal of becoming healthy? Any ideas for dealing with or getting around knee pain?

I've accumulated a vast array of books on the subject but I'm slightly daunted at the task of choosing the best plan. I know I have the internet right at my disposal - which is full of useful weight-loss information. And believe me - I've researched. But I'm looking for something a little more personal. It will mean more to me to hear directly from someone who has lost poundage. You will be my hero!!

Secretly, I'm very interested in running in a marthon. There - I said it! More than the fact that I want to look better is the prospect of being able to enjoy adventurous activities again. Running, hiking, kayaking etc.

Please comment, email, or approach me in person (unless you're creepy and plan to corner me in some secluded alley while I'm on one of my 'dark of night' outings).

Thank you! Here's to a healthier and less rotund New Year!

Todd's Obsession

My snow warrior....keeping us safe from the evils that lurk.







And his fearless minions....

A Peak into the Mind of Darren. (Read at your own risk).

I've been feeling a bit nostalgic lately. Darren hasn't even left yet and I'm already missing him.

I was browsing on our computer today and found a stockpile of his files - things he's found online and pictures he's 'doctored'. The following is a very small sampling:

Darren adds his thoughts to Larissa's heart-wrenching picture after she hit her head on the trampoline. He's always been a tender soul.














Darren has embraced this motto fully.













I'm sensing sub-conscious anger/dominance issues in Darren. By the way - what ARE those things in the background chasing this poor, innocent kitty?






Darren labeled this self-photo "Darren the pimp".








Darren's misfortune while living in Texas. He put dish soap in the dishwasher. This picture makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside while maniacal glee envelopes my very soul.







I have no words for this picture





Darren is fun. He is creative. Clever. Smart. Strong-willed. Talented. There were (are) times that I wanted to pull my hair out because of him (still do!)... because he wouldn't (won't) do things the way I wanted (want) them done!

Proof:

• One time I went outside to find him cutting strange shapes out of our shrubbery in the front yard.
• He made an audio tape of himself spewing very hideous and scary-sounding monster noises. He left it under his sisters' bunk bed while they were going to sleep. We spent the rest of the evening trying to console two screeching and sobbing girls.
• I found a dead snake in my freezer the very first week of my marriage to Todd. Apparently Darren, age 10, found roadkill he wanted to skin.
• One evening Todd and I came home from a blessed night away from the kids. We worried about what we would find as we put Darren in charge. (eek.) We found that our entire main floor was riddled with a 'carnival'. Games, treats, puzzles, etc. Each of the kids had their own 'stations' of which they were in charge. Todd and I had to 'pay' to play each of the games. Todd and I went to bed broke....well, more broke than usual.
• Darren's favorite stunt was hiding in the coat closet right as guests came over. After about 5 minutes, he would pound on the closet door and yell "Mom? Dad? Can I come out now?"
• Once, when I had kidney stones, he rode his bike to the grocery store and spent his quarters on the 'claw machine'. He came home with about 5 stuffed animals of various shapes and sizes.
• When he was 12, he mailed Todd and I a bill for his allowance.

It can never be said that Darren is boring. I found and kept this little poem when Darren was younger. It fit him to the T! Now that he is older I see endless possibilities for him. Darren loves the world and everything in it. The world is his playground. Go for it, Darren!

The Noncomformist

Every family has at least one: the child who will not conform, the rebel, the loner. As a pre-schooler, he's the one who gets locked in restrooms because he stayed behind to find out where the water went when you pushed down the handle, who gets his arm stuck in a piece of construction pipe, who rejects store-bought toys in favor of making tunnels out of old oatmeal boxes.

In school, he gets check marks for daydreaming, for not being neat, for not working to capacity. In his pre-occupation with other things, he is unaware that he drives his family crazy, arriving late for dinner every night and wearing his underwear (or dinosaur suit) to bed to save time in the morning.

As he grows older, there aren't enough weekends for his projects. In the garage is his "pumping heart," devised out of plastic sandwich bags, tubing and cake coloring. Cluttering the bedroom are the remains of his puppet show.

Parents are awed by genius, content with an average child, compassionate toward the slow learner. But the child who is none of these only puzzles, confuses and tries their patience. "What's to become of him?" they ask each other.

True, he is accident-prone because he daydreams, and he maintains a closet that the insurance company refuses to insure. But he reminds us that life is a precious gift to be lived to its fullest. And as Henry David Thoreau said, "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is becuase he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears.

~Erma Bombeck

Our Year in Pictures

How sad

Merry Christmas

This Christmas season finds me grateful for many things: for modern medicine and the body's innate ability to heal; for my beautiful family who has been so supportive of me these last few months; for the freedom and beauty of our country; and finally, for a loving and caring Savior who made the greatest sacrifice on my behalf. Merry Christmas!

I am the Christmas Spirit.

I enter the home of poverty, causing pale-faced children to open their eyes wide in pleased wonder.

I cause the miser’s clutched hand to relax and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.

I cause the aged to renew their youth and to laugh in the glad old way.

I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.

I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways with filled baskets, leaving behind them hearts amazed at the goodness of the world.

I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild, wasteful way, and send to anxious love some little token that releases glad tears—tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.

I enter dark prison cells, reminding scarred manhood of what might have been, and pointing forward to good days yet to come.

I come softly into the still, white home of pain; and lips that are too weak to speak just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.

In a thousand ways I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God, and for a little moment forget the things that are small and wretched.

I am the Christmas Spirit.

Author Unknown

The Other Woman

Winter is definitely here...see proof below. This is the view out my front door this morning.





The forecasters say it will snow every day for the next 5 days.







We live on the top of a small mountain in a community named SunCrest, which is at the South end of the Salt Lake valley. The altitude is 6,330 feet and we usually get a good amount of snow.
This is our fourth Winter in SunCrest.

So, here's the deal.

We've always had shovels. Todd's favorite command has always been "KIDS - there's a snowflake in my driveway and I want it gone!" At which point, my teenage children would grumble, complain, kick, scream, and holler - but they would eventually turn off their video games and relocate the snow that had accumulated on the driveway and sidewalks. Then, they would come back into the house, red-faced, and track snow all over my kitchen. But that's a blog for another day.

This past November, Todd splurged and bought new snow shovels. He was tired of the kids fighting over the 'red' snow shovel. Who knew there were such differences in shovels?! Apparently the green shovels were 'crap' and they all fought over the coveted (and singular) 'red' shovel. So - Todd, feeling love in his heart and compassion for their angst, purchased 'red shovels' for all of them. It was a joyous day to behold. Here is a picture of the shovels in all of their splendid glory.












Then, a certain reality hit my husband.

Darren is going on a mission. Darren is the oldest and strongest of the 4. Darren is never home because he's working two jobs to pay off debts that he accumulated over the last year even though we as wise parents warned him about the dangers of debt and tried to subtly explain that debts don't go away even if he goes on a mission. Was that a run-on sentence? Sorry. Did you sense any frustration on my part? Sorry.

So, following the law of logical deduction, if Darren is never home, Todd realized he would have to be the one out there exercising brawn and power over the giant snowflake in the driveway. Todd is smart.

The seed was planted and a thought turned into an obsession.

Todd scoured KSL ads looking for snow blowers. "Jodi, I can't go another winter with those 'pieces of crap' shovels - even if they are all red now. Besides, Darren's not here to help."

hmmm.

One night he was especially quiet. I have learned to fear those times. Finally, one Sunday morning he sprung it on me. He had found a snowblower that he wanted to buy. He had been awake all night thinking about it.

Me: But you just bought all those brand new shovels.
Todd: Jodi, I can't go another winter with those 'pieces of crap' shovels - even if they are all red now. Besides, Darren's not here to help.

So, off he went to buy his new pride and joy, the apple of his eye. I hatefully refer to her as the 'other woman'.

Here he is with her. The happy couple.












Todd races home to her when it snows. Neighbors flock to our home when he is outside. They speak in hushed and reverent tones as they speak of her horsepower and size. I don't see him for the rest of the night because he has to help all of the other neighbors (who don't have snowblowers) with their driveways.

It's hard being married to a nice guy. And it's really hard sharing my nice guy with another woman! But I'm not bitter - and at least the snowflake is gone. For now.